Fruit Incest

Lucy’s favorite Christmas memory was her first after graduating secondary school. That was the season that made her realize how hollow and empty her life had been up to that point, dedicated to childish fantasies and meaningless endeavours meant to stand out in a boring crowd. It was the loneliest part of her life and is considered a low point by her.

And yes, I said favorite memory. This is Lucy we’re talking about. If she were any different, the world would be a pretty different place, for example:

• Fruit Incest is a serious documentary about the more colourful sides of the interior design industry.
• Yours truly Miss Hedgehog spends her time raising hedgehogs. It had to happen eventually.
• Wally the Whale is a relatively unknown Twitter bot. It was a somewhat popular meme for a week before falling into obscurity again and breaking.
• Nerdy skeleton harvesters on WordPress spend their time commenting on a local blog about the everyday antics of an intelligent elephant who learned how to paint and blog.
• “Relatively Fresh is the catchphrase of an animal stuffing company. They were made fun of for their nemean skinning before being forced to switch to the less catchy “We do the boring parts of hunting for you.”
• Dairy based cocktails never got the appreciation they truly deserve. The uncommon drinks gods wept for days.
• The FIniverse still exists, but as a badly drawn webcomic about Figaro’s Incubator.