When you live off the grid and deal all kinds of crazy stuff you need to be aware of all the dangers around you, like evil furniture and appliances. Having one on your side does a good job warding off others from entering your territory, but only if you know how to keep the things under control. Possessed items need a professional to keep them under wraps.
Fruit Incest
Relatively Fresh
You could have said “Don’t you talk to me in that toner voice.”
I’m going to have to confiscate your funny license.
But since fax machines communicate using tones, it’s still quite humouous, though not necessarily as punny. Plus, it reminds me of the old-time dial-up modem noise, and (intentionally or not) channels Star Wars (specifically R2-D2).
I’m countermanding your funny license confiscation.