Shady’s favorite Christmas memory was the time somebody threw out a perfectly good dress she could use to sneak into someplace warm with food during the holidays. She crashed three parties and ate so many little tiny weenies. She had so much fun she endured the cold and wore the dress for four days before it ripped in half during an attempted mattress stealing and she was arrested for indecent exposure.
Her good luck persisted as she got to spend New Years in a comfy warm jail cell before being let out. That was one great year.
Why can’t all food be tiny?
It’s not Christmas until someone has to pretend to be interested in the party.