Fruit Incest

3 slices of hollow toast
2 holy eggs
1 cup of nonalcoholic cream
1/2 tsp of ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp of hazelnut residue
1 hazelnut bone
1 tsp of vinegar

Mix cream, cinnamon, and eggs (dispose of their evil halves). Dip toast slices and let sit for five minutes. Place toast onto frying pan for one minute on each side. Place on cooling rack and chill.

For hazelnut spread, add residue and vinegar to cream mix. Use hazelnut bone to mix (if bone is unblessed, do not stir longer than 30 seconds at a time). Pour mix into saucepan and heat on low. Grind bone with Tesla grater and slowly mix into hazelnut cream as it heats (you may use a spoon for this). Once thickened, pour hazelnut spread on top of french toast. Make sure you either chill the mix or pour it farther than ten feet from evil egg remains.